What is your definition of a Diva? If you’ve read my blog entries before, you know that I define a Diva as a woman who is living her most Dynamic, Intriguing, Vivacious and Audacious life – as SHE defines it. The words you use to describe yourself should be empowering, positive and life-affirming – they should encourage you to live your best life, and live it to the fullest.
The way society defines a Diva hasn’t always been positive, however – in years past, a Diva was a famous female opera singer – the woman who brought the house down, so to speak. The term has also been used to mean a woman regarded as temperamental, hard to work with, or haughty. To be called a Diva was not necessarily a compliment – and I think its high time that change!
I’m a huge advocate of choosing how you want to be defined – it’s part of knowing who you are and one of the core principles of my How to Love Your Reflection personal development system. You can change anything you want about your appearance, your motivation and even your personality. Part of being human is to grow and change – sometimes because our environment encourages (or even demands) it, and sometimes because we’re shown by example that making changes can be beneficial.
Maybe you were lucky enough as a young person to have a great woman in your life you could watch and learn from. But sometimes, young people are not that fortunate. All little girls can benefit enormously from having a strong, interesting woman as a role model.
Now that you’re an adult, why not become that woman yourself for some young ladies? If you reflect on any female role models you have, you’ll recognize a common thread running through them all: they’re confident in their own skin, and they love who and what they see in the mirror every single day.
Whether they’re a mom, a CEO, or an English teacher, those women embrace the lives they’ve created and manifested for themselves, and they find joy in expressing their Dynamic, Intriguing, Vivacious and Audacious selves in the process.
And you can do those same things. When you’re able to love who and what you see in the mirror every day, from your strong points to your idiosyncrasies, you’re then free to be the woman you most want to be.
So how, exactly, do you go about this?
Try these tips to be a wonderful female role model – a DIVA:
- Know who you are. If you take specific time and put specific energy into discovering your DIVA – your personality type, what motivates you, and into creating a visual image that reflects your true self, people will be drawn to you. When you are genuine – allowing your authentic self to emerge and resisting the impulse to put on airs, people will be more comfortable around you. Plus, they’re less likely to put up a facade in your presence, and you’ll find it easier to create and sustain authentic and positive relationships.
- Be brave enough to show the world. To extend the idea in the suggestion above, those who lack confidence usually feel fear about showing others who they really are, and this translates into the facade – the face we THINK will be accepted by society at large. Being subject to the whims of society means that you’ll be changing your personality, your visual image and many other aspects of who you are every season! Demonstrate your confidence by letting people know the “real” you, and by not apologizing for being the unique and special person that you are.
- Express yourself through your visual appearance. The bottom line is that our appearance is a reflection of who we are, and our society judges people by their visual appearance. Although how you look isn’t the whole picture, it gives clues as to your complete person and can encourage others to want to get to know you better. Let your inner self be represented in your appearance through the strategic use of color, proportion and shape.
- Listen well. One of the most useful behaviors to model for young, aspiring women – and a strength that’s now being recognized in the business world – is to pay attention and listen well to others. Developing the skill of listening is a lifelong process. Be assured that modeling this skill for young people is a huge contribution to their development, especially in today’s hurry-hurry-rush-rush world where truly connecting via conversation has become rare.
- Step up and speak up. When necessary, stand up for something that’s important to you or that you believe will make the world a better place. Speaking up just means that you express your thoughts in ways that people can best hear them, in a clear, non-threatening tone using engaging language. Often it’s because one person has raised their voice and expressed their views that a new viewpoint can be heard and acted on.
- Avoid criticizing others. Learn positive ways to provide feedback so that your comments do not come across as harsh criticisms. Criticism tends to shut down communication and create resentment – if this has happened TO you, it’s time to flip that script and be sure that you are NOT repeating the pattern with others.
- Let it be. Refrain from becoming involved in negative conversations and situations. Consider these events a waste of your time. We only get a certain number of minutes in a day. Why spend any of yours on negativity?
- Show love freely. Demonstrating that you care about others and the world in general is a wonderful quality and a great example for young people. Showing love for your fellow human beings, co-workers on a project, or just the people you see on your commute every day doesn’t mean getting romantic, but it can mean appreciating them for who they are – authentically and beautifully – and encouraging others to do the same.
- Do your own thing. Reveal your authentic, innermost self. Do you love to cook, dance, and work with numbers? Then pursue all three. Immerse yourself in whatever excites you and make it a priority in your life. When you feel great about yourself, you experience the freedom to participate in life in ways that increase your enthusiasm for it. Spending time in activities that you love makes you a more well-rounded, secure and happy person. That’s a fantastic result that SHOULD be modeled for young women in our lives so that they can reap the benefits earlier in life.
When you do these things, you’ll not only live life to its fullest potential, you’ll provide every girl you encounter with a fascinating, approachable female role model that loves who and what she sees in the mirror every single day. You’ll give them a lot to think about now and a better life later on, when they grow up and are able to show the world their most Dynamic, Intriguing, Vivacious and Audacious selves!