Here’s a list of 8 things which, if you make the decision to give up on them and stop putting your precious time and energy into them, will make your life not just easier, but much, much happier. Isn’t it funny that the things that can cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering are the very things we hang onto – seemingly for dear life? Let’s stop doing that – right here, right now! Starting today we (I’m including myself in this, too) will give up on all those seemingly essential things that no longer serve us, and we will be open to, and take steps to make, positive changes. Ready? Let’s go:
1. Give up on your need to always be right
There are an awful lot of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong / incorrect / justified – wanting to always be right, have the right answer, be the expert – even at the risk of ending a terrific relationship, causing another person (or persons, or even ourselves) a great deal of stress and / or pain. Think about some of the decisions you’ve made around your health and the potential for weight loss surgery. How many times have you felt that you had to jump into a fight over who’s right and who’s wrong, and it ended badly…even if, at the end, you WERE right? It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel like jumping into a fight over who’s right and who’s wrong – especially if it’s a subject that does NOT involve life-threatening consequences – ask yourself: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” – Dr. Wayne Dyer.
2. Give up your need for control
Be willing to give up your need to always be in total control of everything that happens to you and the situations, events, people, you find yourself in contact with. Whether you’re dealing with loved ones, difficult coworkers, or just strangers you’ve met on the street – just allow them to be whoever and whatever they are. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are – even if, and especially if, you see something that you would do differently or that you disagree with. As long as no laws are broken and no one is being abused, try to give up the need to control it all and see how much better you’ll feel. Instead, take control (and responsibility) for the aspects of your life and your emotions that you CAN and DO control – like sticking with your healthy eating plan, getting in your exercise, and leaving old, unhealthy habits behind.
“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu
3. Give up on blame – both blaming yourself and blaming others
Give up on blame – blaming yourself for situations that are (or were) out of your control, blaming others for what you do or don’t have – especially related to material things, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your power away by assigning more power to others than you do to yourself! Start taking responsibility for your life, and for the successes that are coming in your future.
4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk and limiting beliefs
Oh goodness! How many people are stuck in a negative place and hurting themselves because of a negative, polluted, repetitive, and self-defeating mindset? Don’t blindly believe every thought that goes through your mind – especially if those thoughts are negative and self-defeating. You are better than that, stronger than that, and worth SO much more than that! Throw out those limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do – what may have seemed impossible just a short time ago can be not just possible, but DONE with the application of focused effort. Don’t allow those FORMER limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in an unhealthy place. Start working it, striving for it, and spread your wings – believe that it’s your time to FLY!
“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle
“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle
5. Give up the luxury of criticism
Give up any need you might have to criticize things, events or people that do things or live their lives differently than you. We are all wonderfully and astonishingly different, yet we are all, underneath it all, just the same. We all want to be healthy and happy, we all want to feel deep, abiding love and feel that we are loved in that same way, and we all want to be understood on the deepest, heartfelt levels. We all want to achieve, be or do something, and that is a common wish shared by us all.
6. Give up your resistance to change – growth comes from change!
Change can be extraordinarily good for you and for your life. Change will help you get out of that rut and move from A to B. Change will help you make drastically needed improvements in your life – in every area of your life – and in the lives of those around you. Follow your sense of adventure, of excitement, and embrace change – don’t fight it.
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell
7. Give up on your fears (large and small) and those clingy excuses
Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real – just an illusion. When you truly think about it, it doesn’t exist – you create it by doubting your abilities or allowing others to raise doubts in you about your potential. It’s all in your mind, and therefore under your complete control. Correct the inside thoughts, feelings and emotions, and the outside will fall into place with greater ease than you might have imagined. Hand in hand with fear are excuses – those limiting thoughts and feelings you that reinforce your doubts and fears. Instead of growing into our potential and improving ourselves and our lives, we stay stuck in a negative space, telling ourselves lies over and over again and accepting excuse-laden thoughts that a vast majority of the time are not even REAL.
“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt
8. Give up living your life based around (or measured by) other people’s expectations
Way too many wonderful and fabulous people are living a false life that does not honor who they are and what they can become. They live these lives of quiet desperation because they are too concerned about what others think is best for them. They let what their parents think is best for them drown out their own inner voice; let what their friends think is best for them stop them from reaching out for a new possibility; let what their enemies and their teachers think of them stop their learning process; let popular media think is best for them – even as it applies to their own physical health. They ignore their inner voices, that inner calling that inspires those who have ears to hear to greatness. They are so busy trying to please everybody else – living up to other people’s expectations – that they end up losing control over their own lives, now and for the foreseeable future. They forget how to find and hold on to what makes them happy, they forget to listen to that inner voice that’s shouting out what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about who they truly are. You have only one life – this one that you’re living right now – you must live it authentically, own it completely, and most especially – don’t let anyone’s personal opinion distract you from a path that takes you toward your unique destiny.