Over the course of our lives, from the time we are children throughout our adulthood, many of us develop a pattern of not sharing information about ourselves as openly and honestly as we could with others. Keeping secrets about yourself and your feelings may come easily to you, especially if you’ve experienced less-than-fantastic results from letting others in.
Perhaps one or both of your parents or a caregiver was inconsistent when it came to being open with others. If that was the case, you were taught to be secretive as you matured.
You could be used to keeping secrets based on that past experience and are feeling that your life is just fine now. You might be asking yourself “Why is it necessary to live a transparent life and share all the details of my feelings with others?” Maybe you’re even wondering what a transparent life is, and why you would even want one?
When you live a transparent life, you’re sharing the “real you” with others. You show people the type of person you are and how you truly feel about things. And in the process of living transparently, you reveal a certain underlying confidence.
In learning to be open and honest, you live an unfettered, enriched existence.
Take a look at some strategies you can use to stop keeping secrets and live your best life honestly and with passion:
1. Remove the “shroud of secrecy” from your existence. Living life with so much of who you truly are hidden from others hampers your efforts to be clear to others (and yourself) about who you are as a person.
* Acknowledge to yourself the willingness to let go of secrecy and that you no longer want to keep the real you hidden from others.
2. Be willing to say, “I’m not comfortable talking about that.” Being transparent requires you to be truthful about your feelings to others.
* For example, if your co-worker asks you how much sales commission you made last month, you might not wish to share the information with him. If you’re not comfortable answering the question, just go ahead and clearly express how you feel about it.
3. Experiment with using “feeling” words. When you learn to accurately describe your feelings and attribute them to yourself, it will come more naturally to use those terms with others. Making statements like, “I’m frustrated because…” or “I get irritated when…” will aid you in your quest to be transparent.
4. Identify and work to resolve old wounds. Many times, the reason we’re secretive with others is because we wish to hide our emotional pain from them. But it takes a lot of effort to keep the lid on all that hurt. You could instead be using that precious energy to live your life with passion and vigor.
5. Recognize and acknowledge that when you keep secrets, you may feel “one up” – superior – to others. The unsavory truth is that when you avoid being honest and open with others, you feel some type of power over them.
* An “I know something you don’t know” mentality takes over. You might even like that feeling for a short while.
* However, once you acknowledge to yourself what’s going on, and some of the negative effects it can have on your life and your relationships, you’ll likely want to let go of your need to keep secrets from others.
Living a transparent life unburdens you. You’ll feel more connected with your true self. Plus, your confidence will grow and you’ll be motivated to enjoy all the benefits that a transparent existence brings.
Start today to rid your life of any unhealthy secrecy you show toward others. You’ll feel wonderful when you begin living with transparency. Your passion for life will be strengthened and you’ll embrace your new and more joyful way of living!