What you think and believe about yourself, the world, and your life has a powerful impact on your everyday existence. It is critically important that you think and believe positive things about yourself – and it’s at the heart of my ‘How to Love Your Reflection’ philosophy.
Unfortunately, some beliefs are downright destructive, and will limit the possibility of you eventually living a successful, fulfilling life. But if you’re willing to do the work to identify those self-sabotaging thoughts and invest a little time and effort on your own behalf, you can delete them from your life forever.
Review this list of negative and destructive thoughts to see if any of them are familiar to you. If they sound all too familiar, it’s time for you to make a change. Start to take note of when you’re thinking in these ways so you can replace the negative, irrational thoughts with more positive and productive ones.
- “I’ll never have the life I want.” How can you continue to move forward in a positive manner and literally “put in work” toward accomplishing what you want if you believe this? Thinking in these terms does you a great disservice and relieves you of working toward what you want. Delete this thought NOW.When you find this thought filling your mind, stop right where you are and replace it with a more positive concept. Say out loud “I am working toward the life I want, and here’s how I’m going to do it”. Interrupting the negative thought with a positive statement said out loud disrupts the negative train of thought. You can’t think negatively while your voice is speaking positively about your life.
- “It’s just like my Mom / Grandma / Dad / Teacher said; I won’t ever amount to anything.” We aren’t all lucky enough to have had super parents or positive caretakers. You might have had parents or other influencers in your life who said demeaning and negative things about you or who just didn’t realize the potential you had.Release these long-standing, self-defeating beliefs – it will do you a world of good! Free yourself from remaining loyal to ANYONE’S negative sentiments about you. Instead, create your own truth through the actions you take each day to live your best life, and by creating affirmations that you can use to reprogram your thought processes and create new positive habits.
- “I’m not pretty or handsome enough to get the life partner I want.” A good way to delete this ill-conceived notion from your mental library is to look around you every day. Everyone who has a partner doesn’t meet the standards of today’s schizophrenic mass media.Each person has his / her own unique look (unless you’re a twin or multiple). It’s okay if your hair isn’t perfect or you’re not as tall as you’d like to be. Instead, work to find YOUR best look – color, wardrobe, accessories – it’s all out there waiting for you to discover it. Check the resource listing below for more ideas.Take an honest look at yourself and notice your strengths – beautiful green eyes or a small waist, strong shoulders or a talent for photography…everyone has special and unique characteristics – it’s what makes us, US! If you’ve got characteristics that are changeable that you’d like to alter – either through lifestyle changes, like losing weight or running a 5k, commit to getting the information you need, creating a realistic plan, and then taking action to change those things. My point? Everyone can find a partner as long as they’re open to doing so.
- “My life is like this because that’s just the way it is. I can’t do anything about it.” This fatalistic way of thinking will doom you to living an unfulfilled and boring life waiting for something to happen. Why not turn the tables? Instead of waiting for life to do something for you, take the bull by the horns and create your own life step by step, day by day.Identify the power you have to create the life that you want. You’ve heard before that thoughts are things – how’s your thought process? Are the majority of your thoughts negative or self-defeating? Re-read item number 1 above – there’s NO reason you can’t have the life you desire and dream of. There are many ways to achieve your goals – the best methods are not instantaneous – they require a commitment of time and energy. Break your goal down into achieveable steps and set a start date (not too far into the future). Plan your work, work your plan, and construct the life you seek.
- “I’m not smart enough to get the job I want / start the business I want.” This type of thinking will only serve to convince you that you can’t create a professionally fulfilling career or a business of your own. Please understand and recognize that you don’t have to be the “sharpest tool in the shed” to land a job that pays you what you are worth and values your expertise and experience. You don’t have to be a “superstar” or a reality TV show contestant to start and run a business that brings you joy, confidence, and considerable financial rewards.Commit right now to take steps to do whatever is necessary to obtain the career you seek – ask for feedback from your supervisor or manager; check in with Personnel to see what skill-building options are provided, and check into educational opportunities outside of the office that can help expand your possibilities.Do some research on business ideas – what are you interested in? What would you do if money were no object? The answers to these questions might be the beginning of a new journey for you – one that leads to fulfillment, tons of fun, and a great way to make money while achieving your personal and professional goals.
- “Money problems are my constant companion. My finances are out of my control.” This thought can be devastating to your life – repeated over the years, these beliefs can become crippling and self-perpetuating. Recognize that you are 100% responsible for your finances, and therefore you have the power to positively affect your situation. Also, it’s not necessarily about much money you make, it’s how much money you keep, invest and save that will determine the kind of financial life you live.Take a long, hard look at your current financial practices. Write down everything you spend, everything you’ve generated a financial commitment for (loans, mortgage, etc) and take this information with you to speak with a budget counselor to help you get your bills paid off and most importantly, to write up a budget that will ensure you’ll have funds to invest and save over the coming years regardless of the amount you earn.
Throw out the old, destructive beliefs that have been holding you back and replace them with new, positive, more realistic ways of thinking. You can be successful in life, starting right now!
Here are some additional resources that may help you along your journey:
If one of your goals is to revise your wardrobe and experiment more with color, check out my 2013 Spring-Summer Color Trends report here
Ready to work on loving who and what you see in the mirror? Check out my ‘How to Love Your Reflection’ personal development system here