Regaining Confidence After A Tough Struggle

When you’ve been through some difficult challenges in life, you may feel like your confidence has vanished – like it has “run for the hills” and left you with less of your normal strength and persistence. You may even be feeling like you don’t know how to overcome your latest challenge (we all face challenges) and you’re stuck.

Are you unsure how to go about believing in yourself again? Unsure of how to raise your confidence level back to it’s former robust level, or if not robust, how to increase your sense of confidence? If so, then this information will be of great help to you.

Follow these tips to shift your confidence level from “just surviving” into a more positive, higher gear:

  1. Know who you are. When you reconnect with the person you are deep down, your confidence will begin to rise once again.

Practice self-reflection and / or self-analysis to figure out what kind of person you really are. Survey your inner self to discover your strengths – you may be surprised at what you find, and what you can get reacquainted with.

Do you step in to help others without being asked? Are you the one who reaches out to the new neighbor who seems uncomfortable?

Take time to become really clear about the wonderful person you are today! You may even want to write your discoveries down in the form of affirmative statements that you can use on a daily basis to help strengthen your self-knowledge and help you remember who you are.

  1. Acknowledge the positive and empowering people you have in your life. Think of your friends – the ones that are always there for you. Consider the close and open relationships you enjoy with your family members. Perhaps you’re even cultivating friendships with co-workers you respect and admire, or other members of your community.

When you recognize and appreciate those close to you, your confidence will be lifted up by thoughts of the incredible people you are surrounded by. Remember that these awesome people are in your life because they see the same awesomeness in YOU – believe that and search for it.

  1. Stay connected in your love life. When you’re emotionally close and intimately involved with your partner, you don’t feel alone. You have a sense that “together, we can overcome anything.” And knowing that makes you feel stronger as an individual.
  2. Embrace challenges. Tell yourself, “I don’t know for sure if I can succeed but, I do know for sure that I will try my hardest.” Build your confidence by accepting new challenges.

Recognize that every challenge teaches you something valuable that you can apply later in life – like the strength you may not have realized you had all along until faced with a challenge.

  1. Avoid comparing yourself to others. Comparing yourself to others sets you up to fail. The answer to, “Why can’t I be pretty and smart like Jen?” is “Because you’re not Jen – you’re you!” You’ve followed your own path, traveled on your own journey. Just as there are no two people exactly alike, no two journeys through life will be exactly alike.

When you compare yourself to others, especially when you’re searching for your confidence, it can feel like you always come out with the “short end of the stick.” The person you think has everything “together” has their own set of challenges to face and overcome and may in fact be looking at your life and wishing they had what you have.

  1. Discover your own strong points and expand upon them. You don’t have to be the same as anyone else to see the positive attributes you possess – in fact, your specific strengths, experience and knowledge proves it! Be open to recognizing your own strengths.
  2. Establish new goals. What is it you hope to accomplish in your life? Whatever it is that you seek, it’s important. Write new goals to help you get excited about your future and focus on moving forward.
  3. Work toward your goals to achieve them. As you accomplish things you’ve worked hard for, you’ll feel like you can do anything. You’ll experience deep feelings of satisfaction and confidence as you put your efforts toward things that matter to you. Working towards and achieving a goal is one of the sweeter things in life. Welcome the process!
  1. Use positive self-talk. Speak to yourself using phrases such as, “I know I can do it,” “I did a fantastic job,” and “It’s time to go for it!”

Talk to yourself as if you’re the smartest, kindest, most talented version of yourself you’ve ever met – right at this moment. Leave the door open for future growth, but don’t forget about what you’ve accomplished already!

Be positive, self-supporting, and honest with yourself. You’ll be stunned at the difference it will make in your life when you speak to yourself in a positive manner – after all, shouldn’t we be our own best friend?

Taking intentional and positive steps (and putting in the work) to regain your confidence is an exciting, enlightening, and worthwhile experience. You really will start to believe in yourself again – and it won’t take long if you apply these principles. Start with one or two of these suggestions, apply them consistently, and you’ll be on the road to a confident new you. Your confidence will rise again, in no time at all!