One of the most important things that can dictate the course your entire life will take is how you view yourself. There is something about how we see ourselves that can be like a self-fulfilling prophecy.
For example, if we see ourselves as undeserving of something in our lives, there is only a small chance that we will end up attaining it.
Furthermore, how we view ourselves will affect our relationships with others, and we may find ourselves unconsciously seeking unsatisfying relationships – those that are either abusive, unfulfilling, or lacking in a fundamental way that negatively affects our current state of mind and can hamper our positive growth and development.
Feelings of nervousness, anxiety and a pervasive sense of our own inadequacy are all things that can come along with having low self-esteem and low self-confidence.
Just as having a weak self-esteem lends itself to all of the issues mentioned above, strengthening your self esteem can lead to the positive outcomes you desire.
How can you strengthen your self esteem to put unhappy feelings behind you and start living the life you were meant to live?
1. Turn those negative beliefs upside down. Those negative beliefs that you’re not good enough have got to go!
* Start by writing down the things that you do well and examples of ways that you’ve been successful in the past. You may not feel a difference right away, however, writing down these facts helps to challenge the assumptions that your negative beliefs are currently based upon.
* Over time, you may notice that you’re feeling more confident and that your self esteem is slowly being strengthened. Add a power boost to these positive facts by stating them out loud – hearing your own voice speaking positively about yourself helps the good information to “stick” in your psyche.
2. Put your needs first. This doesn’t mean that you have to be unhealthily selfish. It’s more about not putting your own needs aside to make others happy before you can make yourself happy.
* Ask yourself this: Why should everyone else be happy but you? That doesn’t seem very fair now does it?
* There’s nothing wrong with wanting to make others happy. In fact, this is a very nice thing, yet doing this at the expense of your own happiness is a recipe for increased dissatisfaction and resentment in the long run.
* When you practice making yourself AND others happy, everyone around you will thank you for it, as you’ll be much more pleasant company when you’re happy too.
3. Find friends who support your self esteem. Maybe the current crowd that you hang out with continually cuts you down and finds fault in what you do. Perhaps you already have friends that are there to pick you up when you fall down.
* If the people you surround yourself with are like the latter, then that’s great! If not, then why waste time hanging out with people that make you feel bad, when there are many people out there who want to support you and make you feel better about yourself?
* These are called true friends. And finding them is not always easy. Rather, it may not happen overnight, but that’s okay. Remember what you deserve and find people that see you in a positive light as well.
By taking these steps, you’ll be going a long way towards strengthening your self-esteem and will be well on the road towards feeling happy and confident in yourself.